coolness !

leaving next week. I don’t know if i’m excited as yet. I’m trying to finish all the work for my dad, like make all his vcr’s into dvd’s , tapes in cd’s. It’s really annoying but yeah. I also burned a cd for shyam to listen in her car, did one a month ago but she said she’s over them, so i made a new one, i have MIKA in it as well. I’m like a fan of him now. I didn’t really like him before but he has grown on me. Ohhh, my parents just came back from australia and they got electric blankets for themselves!? I was like , are you kidding me?! we don’t need those in fiji !! it’s a bloody tropical island, and our winter only goes up to like 15-20 degree max. Where we lives. And we need electric blankets now. Lovely ! My dads respones was, “Well i’m old, and since i have enough have to aforward one ! so i’m gonna have it anyway” . And i’m like .. what ? your 60 years old and u decide to live it up with coolness. Holy moly ! where am i supposed to go when they’re gonna be hogging the spot light!

I reckon this song is the cutest and the two people in to as well. I’ve never seen the series but ah like the whole concept that my mind has created!! So i’m loving it alrite. and now i’m depressed. I need to sing songs too, love songs and feel good and happy . It’s really getting to me, if don’t find myself a boyfriend at the end of this year , i’m cloning a boy version of me and dating him ! Ha!! HA !! haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! bet you couldn’t come up with that.:P

Oh yea, my diet, well yea i’m on a diet and the good news is that it’s working(i think it is). I need to loose weight on those thighs, and that belly!! Goodness. i like my face though , i reckon it’s ….nice sexy HOT ! yep ..well maybe i’ll lose a bit of weight around the chin area, then i’ll look perfect!

I feel cold. Like cold cold. I want to go to bed but i can’t coz i have to do this points thing, and i haven’t even uploaded a photo on flickr yet. After i do that, i will go to bed and dream about me lusting over john arhams body. ( he would laying a a beach. I like good bodies with a tint of sweat! yes ! u read sweat ! oh it’s turning me onnnn! hahah chill i’m okay! )

Nitey.

“why so serious ?”

Today what exactly pissed me off was my cuz wedding video or rather her visit to my place last weekend. Okay firstly, I’m not a feminist, I’M NOT! I love men. I do. But what I object to is being a slave to your husband. I mean hasn’t all these years been about fighting for equality. Why are women getting married and falling in the same hole like previous did, pardon me, bloody still are. A man has everything a woman has. Men have started accepting it, why women can’t! I hate my cuz. I don’t care if my facebook or my bebo is linked with my blog. I really want her to stand up and stop being such mouse. Gah! I’m so pissed off. All my school years I wrote about women’s liberty and what does my own blood do, scratch that I don’t even wanna be related to her! Actually men are slowly improving only like 2 in a million but there is still improvement. It’s these women who fucking cant speaks up. It’s just hard to explain my point. Oh and what is pissing me off everyday of my life is the Australian high commission their wouldn’t even give my visa and my course is going to start. I hate this. Oh and one more thing is pissing me off. FLICKR !!! I haven’t come up with a very good photo! Same boring shit. I’m going to have a shower think about my next flickr photo and then do something about it and post it tonite. And freaking need a pro account. Sigh . Seriously. It’s killing me now. I just wanna be alone. I don’t want all this drama’s in life. And I wanna have a love interest and I want a laptop and I want a rayban and ……………………………….i cant decide now .

p.s mind the grammer and the spelling , was never good at it anyway .

abstract

Utterly bored with life. John Mayer is hot. I will not leave a chance to grab him and bring him home for a private show, where he’d be singing your body is wonderland and ‘I’d be discovering’ him all over. Haha bad mee!  Michael Jackson died and people are claiming to see him on car bonnets and trees! Are you kidding?! I don’t know if that’s a loss to me but it might be to the fans. After he died and after I read his history and all the stuff then I think I became a fan of him. I didn’t grow up with his music so yeah. But I always knew there was a Michael Jackson out there. Even though people claim he was a child molester, I still give him the respect. Man, just look at me, I’m talking as if I’m one big idol. I seriously need to start taking good photo on flickr, I mean all this while I’m fooling around, I really wanna get good with portraits. I hate Aruj, my over confident neighbour who hasn’t give me dream weaver. I want to learn how to use that. Actually I want to learn how to use a lot of programs. I bought this really cool chain, it’s like one of those olden Indian women wore, it’s got black cord and sliver lil balls types. It’s hot. Now I just need to buy a good summer white dress, it will luk really nice on it. I’m hanging out with Young and Vin tomorrow. I don’t know how I feel about that. I want to see harry potter. RIGHT NOW. I feel like vomiting now because I ate too much cake. My dad is gonna be 60 soon, I’m giving him a video of him. Haha it’s goona be fun. I need a hug from mum right now. I’m going to drink some water now . okay maybe later…super bored. I hate my printer it’s annoying! I cried when I watched dillagi again. How mean is bobby deol! Retard sala ! I think I will go to bed now.

Spices.

Spices., originally uploaded by right hand turn..

It’s been like forever since I wrote. Must be the bloody fat that’s taking over my brain. (noooooo!) haha kidding. It’s just that life is so different now; I’m this whole new person. Everyone is on their own. I don’t think I like the recent changes. It’s making me so lost. And at the same time I don’t wanna be stuck at that time period. So I’m a little confused about what I want.

I have been doing heaps of stuff latterly. I have finally managed to get my driving licence! Yayaya so awesome. I got all the paper work done for the student visa for Australia. (phew) And you all would be glad to know that I’m working for an art agency. (Super awesome) though I’m not getting paid. (super fucked) And I should also mention that I’m not doing a very good job. I was supposed to email her the designs by two weeks ago, unfortunately I haven’t gotten around to any. And my whole body and soul has no fear! How cool is that. And and and and and … I’m on flickr baby! Okay well the fact remains that I’m far from being explored on it. But hunnie I’m gonna make it there in about a million years. So go and put my flickr link all over the place and tell people to comment and make my photos a fav!! JUST DO IT ! (http://www.flickr.com/photos/sarahnarayan/ )

Besides all the unwanted drama, I’m really getting excited about Art College! Can’t believe they took me. New retards to meet, new beautiful ugly faces to see, more bad breath to smell. Hmm sounds fun to me. Actually my college is just near the harbour bridge. And I love the city. (http://www.catc.nsw.edu.au/gallery.html ) just see the place where I’ll be studying. Yes uni’s are more fun. Oh hell. I’m gonna do this diploma for one year. Or think of continuing that degree(less likely).

I’m gonna write more often.

Sarah.

Lord of the Rings making !!!!

I would die to be one of the person, who edits things like the stuff in this movie and many more. My fascination with Smeagol’s character made me search for this. Dyam, they have some good talent! The motion camera and all, grr , i wanna be part of these sort things man !! I wanna be that sorta brilliant animator !! And i shall !! Hurray !! Check out the videos ! Oh, and i’m deeply inlove with Orland Bloom !! gaa … get me him or i’m blowin up places !! haha

Enjoy your wekend !!

Aching Facts

You stop and realizing at a point, the things you possibly can’t have. Me? The list is endless, but I’m not complaining the only that has ever bothered me is finding love or rather just someone to be with… It kills me every time to think that I’m not good enough for some louse guy to hang out with for a bit.

I haven’t always fell for real guys in my life to tell you a fact, and the reason I think is that I know subconsciously that wishing for something no ordinary person can have is less of a disappointment then facing it with the real situation. Kinda getting the point?!?!?! To tell you an enough depressing story, in primary school I crushed on my really good mates’ boyfriend, okay seriously I didn’t know they were going out. I swear till the last breath of mine, I didn’t know! no one told me and yes maybe I was so blinding in love with the guy that I didn’t see the chemistry that was happening between my buddy and the guy! Sigh and I was such an idiot that I went and told my buddy that I crushed on her boyfriend! And she was shocked but she never mentioned that they were going out! And I ain’t Mr. Kennedy to figure it out myself! So she lets out a BIG OH ! then she eventually tried for weeks in getting us together , until the great “one afternoon” I kinda heard then talk, and she was convincing him to go out with me, and I found out a few other things, that just hit me right where it was supposed to! I went straight home and never bothered to answer when she called home. Next morning I felt so miserable that I told her that I was over him was kinda angry on her for not letting me! Then things really kicked in, the guys friends started giving me looks and it just broke me. So they eventually stopped going out! Till today I’m very embarrassed of what I did! I know its so stupid to even say that I didn’t know they were going out, how blind can one person get!!

After that endless number of Tv hunks ! WWE stars ! (Yea I knw ), singers, candy boys, new comers … you name it I was all over them! School didn’t get any interesting either. And any other person who thought I had a thing for them, well I never really did, I was just trying to be mates but looks like you lost that!

After a while, the person came, who just changed everything for me. I started lipstick and eyeliners on even when going to town to get bread for crying out loud! Cant get any more desperate then that. One whole year I kept fooling myself, how the hell did I mange that, thinking he liked me too. Its all teenager talk if you ask seriously. But anyways leaving all that. This one person made me feel like heaven, like I was worth having. It just did wonders for me, I was nicer to human beings, and I was just in so much bliss that his little hint of insult even looked like he was writing me poetry. I guess I never really saw him making fun of me, rather I felt he was praising me. That’s how blind I got in the so called love! Sigh. This topic doesn’t really make me sad but just disappointed I guess.

I love this new song it makes me happy. And shilpa Rao is beginning to grow on me, her first as the Khuda Janne ..and now this , like her ..

And btw pussy cat dolls kinda sucks at singing Jai ho song by Ar.R.rahman! I mean they suck bad. cant they just leave it to its original places ! I’m hating them right now!

Feel like jumping off a cliff ?

Okay, so I have been single all my life and have been desperately looking for a nice suitable datable guy! Okay, not desperate. Just someone to laugh with cry with, some who will buy me flowers! Send me texts in the morning saying have a lovely day! I know, I know it sounds all corny but it is a fact and I don’t care what anybody thinks, and all you fucked up retards who failed to give me all the happiness I truly deserved, shall rot in hell, wait no actually I hope you people will kill your own self’s over a girl who rejected you!!!! Mauahhaha …. Ahh argh !!

So the point, I got asked by this “guy” (a real guy, who wears pointy toe shoes, got class and all, yes I accept it). So even he asked me to spend time with him for Valentines Day, what am I to think?? I mean I knew him before but he never expressed himself towards me like that. So I’m just queries… what if he is planning to humiliate me and torture me, and abuse me and just use me! And throw me away like a piece of trash! (Note: the results of staying with my mother for more then I’m supposed to). Sigh … I want to have a perfect life while I’m in university! Bitch! That just reminded me I haven’t actually got accepted in a university! I’m totally depressed over that! Truly truly depressed ….

Actually you know what, I don’t mind be single all my life, just please get me into a university … Please lord please …

The Twilight movie characters ?!?! Good enough ?

Edward - perfect

Bella –Just wasn’t the right Bella , seriously !!

Charlie – Just how I imagined it

Carlisle – hehe hottest dad indeed

Alice- perfect

Jasper – hehe very good

Emmet – perfect

Rosalie – she didn’t look amazingly beautiful at all

Jacob – alright, could have done better

Victoria – not a good one

James – perfect

Laurient – opposite of what I imagined but he wasn’t bad

Jessica- alright

Angela- perfect

Mike – Very nice

This very hard moment.

Faking a laugh,

Faking a smile,

Hiding the truth behind a mask,

While my heart is breaking into pieces with every smile that I give.

That’s the life that I live

Used to believe in fairy tales, thinking it’s a beautiful world,

Then I was appalled with the truth that this world holds

I tried to fool myself and hide behind my dreams,

Tried to make everything as simple as it seems

But deep inside,

There were thousands of bursting tears,

With every smile that I used to give that’s the life that I live

Ended up with a broken heart,

Ended up with my life ripped apart.

Ended up left alone in the darkness,

Crying,

Gave up and just quit trying…

(Don’t know where I got it from but had it in my computer, remind me who gave this)

Too late ….Titanic

I know it’s a bit late but, how the fuck can they kill JACK?? …. In the movie titanic and keep that stupid freaking red headed slut alive?? How could they? What were they thinking? I mean Jack the guy who gave hope to Rose till the last minuter that everything will be alrite! I mean seriously Jack should be prayed to! I think I need a man like Jack! JUST LIKE JACK !!

I ain’t freaking gonna let you go Jack! Ugh! If it was me in the freaking sea with you I would have saved you, knowing my extra fats would have come in handy! We shall have lived to this day. Oh wait, I don’t know if the sotyr of Jack and Rose is real , I know the titanic ship thing is! Too lazy to even find it .

I’m practically in tears right now. It’s hurting me to see Jack die in cold and the stupid Rose up on the plank.

May Jack’s body rest in peace.

Kate Winslet (Rose): I love you Jack.

Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack): Don’t you do that, don’t say your good-byes.

Kate Winslet (Rose): I’m so cold.

Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack): I don’t know about you, but I intend on writing a strongly worded letter to the White Star Line about all of this. You’re gonna go on, and make lots of babies, and watch them grow. You’re gonna die an old lady, warm in her bed. Not here, not this night. Do you understand me? Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.

Kate Winslet (Rose): I promise.

Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack): Never let go.

Kate Winslet (Rose): I’ll never let go. I’ll never let go, Jack.