Aching Facts

You stop and realizing at a point, the things you possibly can’t have. Me? The list is endless, but I’m not complaining the only that has ever bothered me is finding love or rather just someone to be with… It kills me every time to think that I’m not good enough for some louse guy to hang out with for a bit.

I haven’t always fell for real guys in my life to tell you a fact, and the reason I think is that I know subconsciously that wishing for something no ordinary person can have is less of a disappointment then facing it with the real situation. Kinda getting the point?!?!?! To tell you an enough depressing story, in primary school I crushed on my really good mates’ boyfriend, okay seriously I didn’t know they were going out. I swear till the last breath of mine, I didn’t know! no one told me and yes maybe I was so blinding in love with the guy that I didn’t see the chemistry that was happening between my buddy and the guy! Sigh and I was such an idiot that I went and told my buddy that I crushed on her boyfriend! And she was shocked but she never mentioned that they were going out! And I ain’t Mr. Kennedy to figure it out myself! So she lets out a BIG OH ! then she eventually tried for weeks in getting us together , until the great “one afternoon” I kinda heard then talk, and she was convincing him to go out with me, and I found out a few other things, that just hit me right where it was supposed to! I went straight home and never bothered to answer when she called home. Next morning I felt so miserable that I told her that I was over him was kinda angry on her for not letting me! Then things really kicked in, the guys friends started giving me looks and it just broke me. So they eventually stopped going out! Till today I’m very embarrassed of what I did! I know its so stupid to even say that I didn’t know they were going out, how blind can one person get!!

After that endless number of Tv hunks ! WWE stars ! (Yea I knw ), singers, candy boys, new comers … you name it I was all over them! School didn’t get any interesting either. And any other person who thought I had a thing for them, well I never really did, I was just trying to be mates but looks like you lost that!

After a while, the person came, who just changed everything for me. I started lipstick and eyeliners on even when going to town to get bread for crying out loud! Cant get any more desperate then that. One whole year I kept fooling myself, how the hell did I mange that, thinking he liked me too. Its all teenager talk if you ask seriously. But anyways leaving all that. This one person made me feel like heaven, like I was worth having. It just did wonders for me, I was nicer to human beings, and I was just in so much bliss that his little hint of insult even looked like he was writing me poetry. I guess I never really saw him making fun of me, rather I felt he was praising me. That’s how blind I got in the so called love! Sigh. This topic doesn’t really make me sad but just disappointed I guess.

I love this new song it makes me happy. And shilpa Rao is beginning to grow on me, her first as the Khuda Janne ..and now this , like her ..

And btw pussy cat dolls kinda sucks at singing Jai ho song by Ar.R.rahman! I mean they suck bad. cant they just leave it to its original places ! I’m hating them right now!