Christmas .

I don’t know if I have a reason to be happy about this Christmas (Excluding the birth of the beloved Jesus Christ offcourse)! Stressed out as it is! Results come out in 11 days! I haven’t felt helpless then this. I can’t believe I applied to only one university! If they don’t take me then I’m screwed for life! Things at home haven’t really been tops. I hate being 18 coz then slowly all this “titles” of a responsible 18 year comes on you…first one offcourse being … finding a job! Well not exactly job but people start having expectation from you, and you just don’t know how to deal with these problems. I’m sorry but I just totally suck at being an independent woman or rather a daughter. I just can’t let go of people looking after me. And perhaps yes, I agree with the fact that it has made me lazy to some extent!

I’m deeply confused, on one hand I want to be a girl with dreams and as hard working to achieve them, being a strong figure for other woman to look at me as a mentor! And on the other side, I’m a lazy cow who just wants to be driven around by everyone else! …I just don’t know what I want. I’m too confused and rather lost. It is my age that is making me feel so strange and hopeless!

This Christmas is gonna suck bad. And I hate it already. *sigh*

I have no one to comfort me… Even Edward Cullen has left with that bitch Bella Swan and had a daughter! argh! ***Frustration***

Thou hope you all have a wonderful Christmas .

xo

I DON’T NEED A PUSH UP BRA !!!

Someone please

kindly explain

that to

my mother !

2008 GONE! Reflecting back ??

• IB all over
• No more high school
• Still single
• Haven’t got into a university
• Dreaming about how to fulfill my dreams
• Still no holiday job
• Made a website
• Have started reading book but after school …*sigh*
• Constant feeling of being useless at everything
• Got closer to Vinila  ♥
• Bitched even more this year
• Didn’t get to go places
• My first ever very “own” Art exhibition
• 2 best friends to hold on for life. (Meliser and Vinila)
• New Lplayer – love it!
• Made a billboard (1400×2400mm)
• My beautiful heart chain, I ever wanted
• Mayank lightens my mood by giving me a call every week or so!
• Hated prom for different reasons
• Rejoined classical Indian dance classes all over again
• Designed t-shirts
• Aman decides to get back in touch!
• Let down a few people
• Broken my camera
• My brain grew smaller
• More often fights with mum
• About to have a first date but fail .(WOW brilliant me)
• School magazine front cover filled with my colours!!
• Grew ten hundred thousand and twenty meters larger
• No driving licenses yet!
• Got a phone this year
• Even more lonely than last year
• Finally 18 but still no freedom
• Difficulties with growing up
• No one gets the world I live in
• Rejection?
• Clogged mind often
• Met old friends, some even married
• Played new mind games this year
• Hated more people this year
• Mana Island was awesome!
• Bula festival 2008 – pretty dramatic!!
• Turned into a hard-core stalker and stalked a pretty gorgeous guy
• More fights with class mates! (WHICH I WILL SURELY REMEMBER)
• Sunaina comes to Fiji!!
• Abbo gets me by surprise!
• Fatema’s E-card skills stun me once again!
• Going to do IELTS test for visa! (die bitch)
• Social nite (ruined by a few)
• and the rest i cant remember !

“Sarah’s mum: Sab kismat ke khel hai!”

These jelly beans I’m eating is gonna give me diabetes! And right now I certainly don’t need any sweetness in! I’m angry, pissed off, let down, fooled, given false faith …. Well basically I have been lied to! I saw this coming but I still went around believing it! I knew … I just knew, I would end up like this but Noooooo! I have this thing, that people won’t repeat their foolishness mistakes! I could have gone places! But like mum always says its fate! “Sarah’s mum: Sab kismat ke khel hai!” But I always respect my parents decisions, yeah well I’m angry with it for a while but then I see their point as well ! But right now I’m fucking pissed !

11 things I would do before I die !

1. Tell my parents that they were my world, even thou at times you guys were so childish for not letting me to go places! But I guess thanks to you guy. I haven’t been blown into pieces!
2. Write a small book of quotes …by Me, Shyam, Simone and Suraj … and gift it to Shyam.. So that she can … live each moment that made us laugh till we farted..and laughed on that again
3. Steal the love of my life from THAT BITCH!
4. Tell Abbo that I loved all the moments we had as kids! And still wished we were kids …. So that we could go to uni together …hate family disputes!
5. Go to the Shiv temple hike in India !
6. Write a book on guys being a bitch! and how i was probably single all my life!
   
7. Write a blog on why I hate Animals!! … Trust me ..every. morning … cleaning the passage full of dog, frog and bird shit is not funny !
8. Travel to UK and tell Ranjit that HE WAS A BITCH !
9. Kill about 469654459846464 people for betraying the trust of my parents!
10. Relive the moment of my prom 2008 … and actually have gone with a date
11. Travel all the way to Brad pitt and tell him that … he actually turned me on ..While I watched TROY!! hahahahaha well most women do !